when parents split, don’t take sides

i know taking sides come naturally to us, been there, done that, really regretted it, so this time i really want you to do something counter-intuitive.

before my parents had the divorce, they were both wonderful people. once i took sides of one, the other started to look more and more like a ‘demon’ (and i was left wondering how i have never realized it all these years)! turned out, parents are humans too (duh, lol), and unless they’re enlightened masters like i am now (wish i was earlier so that i didn’t have to go through/cause all that pain), they will do whatever it takes to defend their own pride. they will sometimes forget their ex was once your mom/dad. to you, that person was your beloved mom/dad, but to them they’re just that ex that they held grudges against, so they will surely talk badly about them every now and then without considering your best interest. when they do, do not fully believe them. what does your heart tell you? trust that! coz your heart never lies (or in this case, it never takes sides).

it’s our nature to take sides. it gives us a sense of moral and identity. we hold on to that so tightly without knowing it’s just ego playing tricks on us. the reason why i never noticed the parent being demonized was ‘super nasty’ before they split was because when they were still together they didn’t talk so badly of one another. i was able to observe them for who they really were with my own judgments backed by my own justifiable experiences of living with them. when you’re physically away from the one being demonized by the one you’re siding with, you lose touch with reality. you might enjoy doing this right now but let me tell you, you will surely regret it later on in life when you’re maturer and wiser. you will mainly regret on 3 things: 1. being manipulated into hating a parent; 2. the one you’ve sided with turned out not that ‘perfect’ themselves either after all; 3. after knowing the truth, you will regret on the pain you’ve caused to the one you didn’t side with.

never forget — they might not be husband and wife anymore, but they’re still your mom and dad. even if one or both of them have already remarried now, the fact they’re still your mom and dad never changes. and remember, their divorce is NOT because you’re ugly! it’s just the Universe giving you a chance to grow stronger and more independent earlier on in life, because you’re here for something great. turn that painful experience into your opportunity to grow more compassionate and more open-minded. coz that’s what it did to me. there’s nothing sad about it. it’s way better having them far away from one another than watching them fight 258, trust me.

a lotta kids ask me why do parents split. well.. because their marriage was not a conscious choice. they were just getting by, mindlessly rolling along with life instead of consciously choosing to do things that truly make them feel blissful (which is why they do what they hate for a job rather than doing something that they love for a living). they were at ‘the age’ of marrying and they wanted a family. they got married because everyone they know did it without asking why, and they just followed what everyone else did or what their parents or friends told them to do. they feared that if they didn’t marry while they were still young, they’d never be hot enough to attract anyone anymore — they feared that they’d never have you if they didn’t marry right there right then.

so you were definitely the most compassionate reason within the ‘why’ they got married, and it takes huge efforts to make you happen, so never carry pain or guilt, coz they love you (it’s just that after the split, they dunno how to properly show that love anymore. but trust me, they love you). it’s just that when they were still married they weren’t mature enough to work things out as a team. it’s not like before people get married they go into a marriage school.. nobody got that Marriage University Graduation Certificate.. (and imo that Masters Parenting Certificate is even more important, am i right or am i right? lol). they might seem old and intelligent but they really aren’t as perfect as you expected. so man-up mah bruh, be da man yourself and inspire the whole world with your strength and heal the world with your compassion!

you might feel like you only receive half of the love now without realizing love is whole at all times regardless of how many people are radiating it upon you simultaneously. everyone was single anyway before they got married. you can see divorce as how they returned to their single state that they always were in the past. they were whole people before the marriage so there’s no such thing as ‘half love’ in this regard. you’re not half a person. every one of you (you, your mom, your dad) is still a whole person. and it is important to remember to always love yourself. when you love yourself, you feel whole to the fullest level.

ilu 💖 to the universe, u is always bebe, it will always love you unconditionally and it will always have your back 🙌🏻 to me, you are that beautiful flower that blossomed in the morning after a stormy night — behind your intense beauty is that immense strength. you are this awesome star seed with infinite potential waiting for the perfect time to unpack and shine like a superstar 🌟

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

Published by Daniel Crossing

a really hot Motivational Speaker's secret blogging account

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